Mary Casey, RN, BSN

I passed!!!

After four tense days in which I was determined not to pay money to get my quick results, I caved today when my friend Paula called and told me that she had just paid money to find out and she had passed. I was still waffling, and then her words, "Do it right now," led me to action. A small $7.95 charge later, and I knew the good news.

I passed.

I am a Registered Nurse.

Oh, I also lost two more pounds.

It's all over but the testing...

I have officially scheduled my nursing boards for March 15, 2007. My goal was to take this dreaded exam by the middle of March...looks like I am right on time for that! Two of my fellow graduates, who are working with me in the NICU, are taking it two days before, on March 13. I was going to join them that day, but I tend to have better days on Thursdays, so since there was a Thursday available, I scooped that right up!

If you could all collectively cross your fingers and hold your breath from about 8 AM to noon on March 15, it would be greatly appreciated. If it takes me more than four hours (I believe that they allot six), I will be passed out on the floor right beside you...

Days in the NICU...

I have worked now as a graduate nurse in the NICU for about three weeks now. It is amazing that I went from my first day, feeding babies who were close to going home, to these days, taking care of babies that need respiratory support and are smaller than any baby I ever thought I would hold. The NICU is an amazing place. It's full of technology and beeps and hustle and bustle. But it's also a place of hope and miracles, and it is not a bad place to spend the work day!

I find inspiring the parents who are there for the day-to-day, adjusting to the fact that their birth story didn't work out the way that they expected to, and rearranging their lives to stand by their little fighters and help them fight. The will to live in these babies is amazing...and if we can support them and help them grow long enough, that is just what they do.

Some of the most special moments I have had are interactions with these amazing parents. The smile on a mom's face when you tell her that she is going to be able to hold her baby for the first time is something that I wish you could bottle up and sell. It is that magical. Sharing the progress that the babies have made and giving the parents a little bit of good news is another great feeling. It's wonderful to tell someone that her baby has done well in his trial off of CPAP and is now just breathing the same air that she and I are breathing. And watching the love in the eyes of the parents, mixed with a little bit of uncertainty and fear, reminds me of why I wanted to do this job in the first place. I can help them through these days. I can help make it better. In the NICU, I feel like I have found my home...

Hump Day

It's that day in the week, when last weekend and this weekend are the same distance away, that you just want to get over so you can head full-tilt toward another weekend. It's also the last Hump Day in the midst of my last work week as a nurse's aide because next week I begin orientation for my new graduate nurse position in the NICU! Big excitement here!

This new position stands for so many things for me. Back when I was in high school, a new family moved in across the street from me, and the dad/stepdad in that family was (and still is) a neonatologist. My interest was piqued from that time on, and I sort of thought someday I would like to do something similar. This was back in the days when I still planned to go to medical school someday. Needless to say, I never went there.

When I started nursing school, this neighbor's wife told me all about how they were opening a new NICU at one of the other hospitals in our network and mentioned that they really needed nurses there. Again, my interest was piqued. I could still end up in the NICU, but in a different capacity. Interesting...

Then, I went through nursing school, and a lot of people suggested starting in a more general nursing role before moving into a specialty. I thought about that and thought that maybe it was a good idea, just to get my feet wet. Also, I noticed that many specialty areas don't hire new graduates right away, so I put my thoughts of the NICU on the back burner.

Then, my friend and classmate Kathy got hired to the NICU at the hospital in which I was already working. That was it for me. I knew what I wanted to do, and I applied for a position in the NICU, and I got it. And now I start orientation on Monday. And I can't wait! However, I will miss my coworkers on the floor on which I now work. And I will miss the staff from other departments (like physical therapy, speech therapy, and internal medicine) who don't really ever make it to the NICU. I am sure I will see them from time to time, but it won't be like working with them every day!

In other news, my friend Amy's very stubborn baby who was due on January 11 (a full six days ago) is still warm and cozy on the inside and has not yet made his or her appearance out here in the real world. Let's go, baby! We are waiting for you!

Done!

Yesterday, I had my exit interview with the acting head of the nursing department, thereby signalling the end of my nursing school career. I must admit that I am a little stunned that the end has arrived, although when people tell me they can't believe how quickly it went, I want to throw up in my mouth a little. This was a long two years, and although it easy at the end to think that it sped by, in reality it did not. I felt every one of those days...and now that they are behind me, I feel a little lost.

The biggest change so far is that I have been home to cook dinner for my husband for the last three nights. I used to be good for about one meal per week, and it was easy to handle. Now, I am experiencing a little stage fright. Some time in the afternoon yesterday, I started wondering what I was going to make for dinner. I did my usual meat with a side of veggies and a side of starch on Tuesday. On Wednesday, my mom came over for fajitas...which I made out of a kit. And last night? Last night, I went to that aisle in the grocery store that has all the sauce mixes and chose the stroganoff mix. And last night I was able to pull out a homerun...Bill was very impressed with my skill. I didn't tell him about the sauce mix. Tonight, I get a reprieve, as he will be going to pack Christmas baskets with the Knights of Columbus. Therefore, I will be home alone with Otto...and he doesn't really care what I make!

Almost done!

I HAD MY LAST CLASS ON THURSDAY!

Now, I am spending a lot of time sleeping, and I have even started reading a novel! Wacky! I have also acknowledged that Christmas is, in fact, coming, and I had better start preparing for it. Tonight, we put up our first Christmas tree as a married couple, and we were fortunate that Bill's sons could be here to do it with us. It looks good...a mix of Bill's matchy-matchy stuff and my childhood favorites. But it's so weird to have my ornaments on a tree other than that of my parents'!

We are also looking forward to Otto's first Christmas. His eyes became as round as saucers as he realized that a tree was moving into the house...but he's being pretty good about it. He hasn't (A) tried to climb it or (B) peed on it yet. That's good news!

Anyway, look for pictures this week as I finally clear off my camera's memory! And as I finally have time to blog more!

More soon...

Bad, bad blogger...

Can I just share with all of you out in the Blogosphere that my last day of class for nursing school is December 7 and my last day of practicum is December 11? That means that in nine days, I will be, for the most part, done with nursing school. It is unbelievable to me that this day will soon arrive...so unbelievable that I can't quite see the end yet. Check with me in nine days...maybe reality will have set in.

Moving on...

I am hopeful that one nursing school is over, I will be able to do the following things...

• sleep better and longer
• see my husband more
• go to more of my stepsons' sporting events
• read more books for fun
• sleep better and longer
• finish up several knitting projects
• start new knitting projects
• be a better blogger
• be a better wife
• sleep better and longer
• organize my house
• did I mention sleep better and longer?

Today was Day 6 of eight days of getting up at 5 AM. Getting up at 5 AM really bites the big one. No matter how often I do it, it doesn't get easier. Maybe working night shift will be worth the fact that I don't have to get up at 5 AM!

Last night, we had Bill's holiday party for work. We had a nice time...it was a cocktail hour, followed by a light dinner, at a hotel near his office. It was nice to see some of his coworkers whose company I enjoy. Halfway through the cocktail hour, I got a text message from my sister, telling me that my house was situated in the midst of a tornado warning and they were advising people to take to their basements. Luckily, when I got home, my house had not been hit by a tornado, and Otto was just fine. However, as I was driving home, I noticed that the area looked a little dark. Sure enough...our power was out! I had no idea where our flashlights here, so I wandered around looking for them by the light of my cell phone. I also had to set my cell phone's alarm to make sure I got up in time for work this morning. Needless to say, I did NOT sleep well. I will be stopping at Wal-Mart for a better flashlight or two and also a travel alarm clock on the way home today. Word is that power outages happen a lot in our neck of the woods, and next time I want to be ready!

And now, here's to the end of this completely random stream-of-consciousness post!

One week...

So a week from this very moment, I will be a married woman, enjoying my big par-tay! ONE WEEK! It's amazing...

When we got engaged last August, as we picked a date, it was so nebulous and far off and in the future that I wondered if it would ever get here. Come to think of it, when I started nursing school and thought of my eventual graduation in December of 2006 (this was back in July of 2003), it was also so nebulous and far off in the future that I wondered if it would ever get here. Now, things are finally starting to happen. On Thursday, I had my last official class of my last official class before my practicum. And tomorrow, I have my last clinical before my practicum. Oh, and did I mention that I am getting married IN A WEEK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!?!

I can't wait to rejoin Real Life. Things have been on hold for so long that I don't know what it will feel like to have Free Time. All I know is that it will feel GOOD!

And the new hair is a hit, thank you very much...an expensive hit, but a hit just the same!

On the night shift...

I am getting ready to head in to work at an hour when I would usually be going to bed. We are short-staffed this week again, and the hours were there for the taking. I went off to the grocery store this morning to buy me some Tylenol PM, which one of the regular night shifters told me she used to sleep during the day when she had already slept the night before. Somehow, that didn't make it home with me...damned little bottle in a damned little box!

I tried to nap during the day, but instead, most of my day consisted of watching DVRed and On Demand-ed television, with an episode of General Hospital thrown in there. I did nap for a half hour at the beginning of the set and for 1 1/2 to 2 hours after 8:00. The result? A very fuzzy brain with no desire to climb in the car for my 45 minute commute. But sick people are sick at night too, so I will be climbing into the car and making my trip down there.

Oh, and the car? The new one? Here it is...


Meet Space Ghost, named in honor of one of my favorite cartoons on the USA Cartoon Express. The others were Captain Caveman and Clue Club, for anyone keeping track*.

Man, it's gonna be a long night...


*You should all know that I first wrote that phrase "keep tracking," and I had to come back in and do an edit to fix it. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about the long night!

Outcome

We have our outcome, and although it isn't the best possible one, it isn't the worst possible one either. In the best possible scenario, there would have been no repurcussions. In the worst case scenario, I would have had to extend my nursing school career by at least six months. I REALLY didn't want to do that. Therefore, the final outcome was fine...not ideal, but fine. As my sister said to me tonight, "It is what it is." And now we can move on to the end of the semester...

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!

The mantra of Nemo's friend Dori is what helps me get through many days. My life right now feels to me to be something to be endured. There are little spots of sunshine, but most days are just one gigantic pain in the ass.

Right now, something is going on that could have a bad outcome. I will find out tomorrow if the outcome is the worst it could possibly be, or if it is just moderately bad, or if it isn't too bad at all. If it is the worst it could possibly be, the part of my life that I must endure, instead of enjoy, could be extended by about six months. I REALLY don't want to extend the portion of my life that I am in right now, so I am looking for one of the less bad options. However, I feel like I have to be prepared for the worst, so that if it does happen, it won't seem that bad.

For those who are wondering, this potential badness has to do with a portion of my life that is over in December...I don't want to go into it more than that because people get in trouble for things they write in their blogs ALL THE TIME, and I just want to keep my nose clean.

Mania...

Sometimes, when you live in the mountains and your husband-to-be goes away for the weekend, you are totally SCREWED if the power goes out, causing an inability in your alarm clock to wake you up for work. Sometimes, you wake up, and you think, "Hmmm...it's a little too light out for my liking." And you notice that EVERY digital clock in your house is a big, black, blank screen. And you jump off the couch (where you were sleeping in front of the now-silent air conditioner) and fumble for you cell phone and realize that it is 6:32, and you should have left for work, well, 32 minutes ago. After throwing on some clothes (working at a job where you wear scrubs = SO good not to have to decide what to wear) and throwing your toothbrush and toothpaste in your purse (because the electric well pump needs some of that newfangled electricity to get the water to come out of your faucet), you hop in the car while frantically calling someone...ANYONE...at work (not always easy during the change of shift) to let them know that your morning has not been a good one and you will be there, at the earliest, at 7:15, which is a full half hour late. Damn that move up into the mountains, anyway.

Luckily, my coworkers are understanding and would prefer I arrive even later than that and also alive. Luckily, also, it was Sunday, so I was able to go a little heavier on the gas petal and not worry about cops so much and also there was no traffic. Luckily, as a final also, my day got better.

Yesterday, my friends, was my VERY FIRST BRIDAL SHOWER!!!! And there are also some tricky people in my life! TRICKY LIARS! However, it's okay because, man, I was surprised!

My baby sister turned 26 on Friday, and the Big Event of our Sunday was supposed to be dinner out for her birthday. She was to arrive at 6:00 or 6:30 at my parents', where I was going after work, and we were going to head out. I work closer to my parents' than to my house (again about the mountains), so I went to their house to shower (ah, the running water) and change and wait for her and her boyfriend and also Bill, who was out of town for the weekend. So I am sitting around reading the paper, and the phone rings. It's my parents' neighbor, Barb. Barb's son got married a few weeks ago, so when she invites us over to see the pictures of the wedding, fresh back from the photographer, I think nothing of it and report that we are on our way.

She meets us at the back door. We go into the house. I walk into the kitchen...and right into a trap. About fifteen members of our family of friends are standing in the kitchen, and I about fall over as they yell, "SURPRISE!" It's a party! It's for me (and Bill, who is still out of town...sneaky, sneaky man)!

Apparently, the birthday dinner was all a big ruse to get me down there and to lure an unsuspecting me into their trap of margaritas and merriment. I was, of course, touched and thrilled. After an initial moment of near hyperventilation and tears, we got down to the business of fiesta-ing, complete with margaritas and queso and fajitas and tacos and margarita cheesecake and frozen strawberry margarita pie. There were games. There were gifts. There were good times, had by all (especially me)! And at the end of the evening, there was an actual showing of the wedding pictures because they weren't actually lying to me (much)! I feel very lucky to have so many people who care about me.

Of course, no shower is complete without pictures...and those pictures had something to do with what I have done this morning. I noticed that the surprised and blushing bride, who was photographed walking into the ambush, was looking a little, um, wide across the beam. The camera adds ten pounds? Well, it had better add more like fifty because I was NOT happy with what I saw.

So this morning, I decided to get up and take a walk. Have I mentioned that I live in the mountains? Well, here in the mountains, they don't specialize in flat roadways. They specialize, instead, in neighborhoods where EVERY street goes uphill, and I don't know how I didn't walk all the way to heaven with all the uphills I was doing. It was dirty. It was ugly. It was wheeze-y. It was sweaty. It was forty-five minutes long, and although I felt great (tired) when I was done, it was definitely insult added to injury when I had to finish up the walk with a trek up my hellish driveway. Man, I can't wait to get that thing paved!

How was your weekend?