Sunday, April 24, 2005

A little gun shy...

It turns out that I wasn't ready. After a week of coasting through my newly single status, I suddenly hit a little bit of a snag. Last Monday, my ex invited me to a Yankees game to celebrate my birthday. We used to have a great time going to games, and in the interest of getting on with this business of being friends, I decided to accept his invitation. Part of me wondered if it was a good idea to do something like this so soon...but I decided to go anyway, and I am glad that I did. We had a great time.

However, our trip to the Shrine had some repurcussions. It turns out that I am not 100% over him like I thought I was. Now, that doesn't mean I want to get back together with him, as I am sticking to my original reasoning. It's very true that our relationship was not working and that we want completely different things out of life. It's very true that it was right to end our relationship before it got so bad that we ended up resenting each other. However, it is also true that I loved him for a long time, and those feelings don't go away just because I want them to.

Therefore, although I am still happily accepting all those matches that eharmony is sending my way, I think it might be a little while before I secure my paying membership and jump back on the dating train. For now, I prefer to remember what we had, think about where I am going, and take the time to look back on how things used to be. I will be ready someday soon to move on...but right now I am still working on saying goodbye.

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

I'm happy to hear that you had a good time at the game. I don't think it's a terrible thing that you're not quite "over" him yet. Five years is a long time. But you're right, given a little more time, you'll be ready and that's when you'll be able to find happiness.