Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Serenity now...SERENITY NOW!!!!!

Yesterday, Jason Alexander was on the Ellen Degeneres Show. This funny, funny man who brought us George Costanza during the Seinfeld years dressed in hip waders and joined Ellen (also in hip waders) in the Jacuzzi-brand whirlpool that Ellen has on her stage right now. Look at Jason Alexander in the whirlpool in his hip waders made me smile as I thought back on the years that Seinfeld was a weekly event in my world. What a great time that was...

When I was in high school, my friends and I were nuts over Seinfeld. We got together every week to watch the show together, and we made it a real event. We would go to my friend Michelle's house and hole up in the basement and snack on veggies and dip, brownies, and chips and salsa. It was something we did every week, and it was something we looked forward to.

Life was certainly easier back then. I know that we all felt at the time that our lives were incredibly stressful. Calculus was a mystery to us, and Physics seemed like a foreign language. Our Spanish 5 teacher wouldn't speak to us in English anymore, so that really WAS a foreign language. We were thinking about where we were going to go to college, worrying about how we were going to leave a legacy to our high school, and wondering what it was going to be like when "the group" wasn't together everyday.

We went off to college and decided that THIS was real stress. Now, Biology, which I had totally understood before, was a mystery to me, Calculus was easy the second time around, and my Gym teacher had to teach me how to throw a football...because I don't have any brothers. Our Dean of Students had a saying, "Look to your left, look to your right. Your future mate may be in sight." Well, I was looking to my left and right and in front of me and behind me too, and I wasn't catching sight of him ANYWHERE! These were the best days of my life...and I spent a large part of them freaking out such things as lab reports, term papers, final exams, roommate fights, boy troubles, and who I was going to eat dinner with. And then I faced the end of college and wondered again what I was going to do without the people who had come to mean so much to me.

So I headed home and decided, in fact, that THIS was REAL STRESS!!!! First apartment, first job, first "real" boyfriend...all this added up to more stress than I had ever felt, and I longed for the days when I had to worry about whether or not I was going to have to eat alone in the cafeteria. I made it through those early days, worked hard, and played pretty hard too. I made it through the end of the relationship with that first boyfriend and enjoyed almost five years with my second. I changed jobs, changed apartments, made new friends, moved back home, went back to school, and ended my relationship with that second boyfriend. And today I find myself TWO DAYS from turning 29, single, living at home with my parents, a blind basset hound, and two cats who don't always get along. In the really stressful times, I long for those earlier days when the highlight of my week was a Seinfeld party and I could count on my friends to keep me going.

However, I have my good days, and when those happen, I realize that this is a great place to be. I am on the path to doing something I really want to do with my life. Once I finish nursing school, the world is my oyster, and although I took a roundabout way to get here, the important thing is that I did get here. I finally know what I want out of life, and although I wish I didn't have to be a single 29-year-old (well, in two days, anyway), I feel like I am equipped to find happiness with someone who wants the same things I do. And although I have had to deal with some delays on my trip to the future, I know that I will get there and that it will be very good, indeed.


NME said...

We get so focused on what we are supposed to have, who and where we are supposed to be that we forget to enjoy the journey. One thing I have learned from watching Noah is that I need to take pleasure in the simple things and appreciate daily life. Though you are in a transitional stage in your life right now you shouldn't forget to celebrate all the small things you have to be happy about. As a nurse you should know that life is a gift - don't forget to enjoy it.

Missuz J said...

Does it sound trite for me to just say, good luck? I'll say it anyway. Good Luck! It sounds like you are moving full speed ahead, and I think that's great!