Last week, I did a good job of pretending that I was not on anything remotely resembling a diet (sorry - lifestyle change). I had a couple of social events, went out for a pancake breakfast, ate chips and ice cream at home, and went to weigh in on Saturday, the absolute last day I can weigh in for the week, with an expectation of gaining at least three pounds. I stepped on the scale...and I had gained 2.2 pounds.
I was actually happy with that. It was a step in the wrong direction, but at least it wasn't a giant leap backwards. I had lost 19.6 pounds, and with this gain, I was standing at 17.4 pounds lost. Not too shabby. I wish I could say that I got right back on track, but in all honesty, I didn't really try much over the weekend, and I set Monday as my day to get it all together.
I did get back on track come Monday. I started writing down all the food I was eating, and I started keeping myself well-hydrated, and I started feeling good about what I was putting into my body. Therefore, when I went to weigh in on Wednesday, I had high hopes for weight loss. In fact, I even let myself entertain the thought that perhaps I had undone the damage so well that maybe I would be close to 20 total pounds lost. I set myself up for some great news at the scale.
Silly girl.
I lost 0.8 pounds.
At the time, standing on the scale, I felt a flash of anger at the pounds that did not come off quickly enough. I even pondered leaving the meeting because I didn't really want to hear what everyone else had to say. However, I took my seat, and although I did spend the entire meeting playing a game on my cell phone, I also half-listened to what was being said. I wish I could say it improved my attitude...but it didn't.
After the meeting, I got in the car and headed over to the mall. It's a mall that I don't go to often, and I went there specifically to shop for some shoes. I also went there because I knew if I went home right then, I would feel compelled to pig out because I was disappointed in myself, and what better way to punish yourself during your diet than to eat? Yeah, I know myself pretty well. Usually, that self knowledge is not enough to stop me from heading down that path...but for some reason, on this occasion, it was.
As I walked through the mall, I did some thinking about my weigh in for the week. Strictly speaking, I did well on the plan for all of two days before going to weigh in, and I lost 0.8 pounds. It had only been four days since my last weigh in, so I hadn't given my body a chance to let go of a huge amount of weight. Instead, I had only started myself on the path to success before stepping off the path for judgment day. If I had waited until Saturday to weigh in, marking a full week since my last weigh in, I could have doubled, or even tripled, that weight loss. However, I really think I went in with my expectations too high, and this could have led me to failure. Instead, I guess it led me to a little bit of enlightenment.
Oh, and the shoes? I didn't find anything at that mall, but when I headed to work at Bath and Body Works last night, I stopped in at the Bon-Ton and picked up two pairs of Privos. They are cute and comfy, and they don't make my feet hurt. This weekend, I am heading to Dresden, OH, home of the Longaberger Homestead, with some friends, and we will be doing a lot of walking. I was planning to wear my usual flip flops for the whole trip. However, three nights on my feet at the hospital and three scheduled shifts at the store mean that the flare ups of my foot issues that I am feeling now will only be worse before we head out to the Heartland. Therefore, comfy shoes are key...and these manage to be cute and comfy at the same time!
So, to sum it all up, I didn't pig out, and I bought two new pairs of shoes. Oh, and they were both on sale...$150 worth of shoes for just over $80. A day can't get much better than that...
1 comment:
Mary, I know how hard the dieting is for you and I hope that you can stick with it because I know that is what you really want. I think maybe your expectations are a little too high. You have been doing great with your overall weight loss, but you are demanding quite a lot when you ignore your diet for several days and then expect your body to rebound into weight loss mode again instantly after you get back on track. If you are going to have pancake breakfasts and chips and ice cream while you are technically on a diet, you kind of have to accept that it is going to take more than a few days to start losing weight again. Your body is probably still trying to figure out what is going on. Why not just be glad that you can go and eat all of that stuff and not gain way more weight than that and never get back on track at all?
Some people are not so lucky. I haven't so much as sniffed a pancake in at least five years (probably more like ten) whether I was dieting or not. I think if I even saw a photo of one I would gain ten pounds. Let alone eat a breakfast of pancakes. I could gain weight eating nothing but lettuce, practically.
Concentrate on the positive- you are almost 20 pounds lighter than when you started. The only way to avoid backslides in weight loss like this is not to "cheat" on the diet, unfortunately. The fact that you were able to go shoe shopping instead of home to eat is a big step in the right direction. You'll get there; I know you will.
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