See Saw

I have noticed that, during the weeks where I don't post a loss on the scale at Weight Watchers, I don't bother to update here what my weight loss has been. Two weeks ago, I had one of those weeks. I was coming off a huge seven pound loss, and Easter came, and I spent the day eating whatever I wanted on purpose, putting nary a thought to the idea that I should limit my intake, choosing instead to stick to just one day of excess. I gained one pound. I didn't let my one day of excess turn into one week of excess. I got right back on the horse. And I celebrated that I had maintained six pounds of that previous week's weight loss because I sort of thought it was a fluke and I was standing on the scale the wrong way.

This past week, I was presented with three different occasions to eat "badly." The first was a formula rep dinner that a bunch of the other nurses from work and I went to. These are much like drug rep dinners, if anyone has ever been to one of those. You get together at a fancy restaurant for a free dinner, and in return for the dinner, you are asked to sit through a presentation of the product that the rep, well, you know, reps. My meal that night consisted of appetizers of shrimp, bruschetta, spring rolls, and chicken satay on a stick, a tomato and mozzarella salad with balsamic vinegar and EVOO with fresh basil, an eight ounce filet mignon with Bernaise sauce, some roasted new potatoes, asparagus, and a decadent chocolate dessert with ice cream. So decadent that between the restaurant and my home, I had to make an emergency potty break at Wegman's because the decadence was not agreeing with my new dieter's insides.

I got through that and went right back on plan. And I really enjoyed my food that night, instead of thinking things like, "I am such a pig," "I totally screwed up this time," and "I am never going to lose weight now." The voices in my head? They usually aren't that nice to me. However, this time, they kept their mouths shut, and I was able to move on and go right back on plan the next day. I consider that a victory.

Fast forward to Saturday night. My sister-in-law is getting married this coming weekend, and I am her matron of honor. Saturday night was the bachelorette party. She is a more low key person than I am (remember how I threw up on a stranger at my bachelorette party?), so we planned dinner in a nice restaurant in town. In fact, it is the restaraunt in the Hotel Bethlehem, which is where she always wanted to have her wedding. Unfortunately, the Casey family is on the mega huge side, and the venue was not large enough for the wedding. Since she had to put her long-time dream of having her wedding there aside, we went there to eat instead. Once again, I didn't exercise much restraint. In fact, none of us did, as evidence by the almost $500 tab we racked up by the end of the night. But it was fun, and it was worth it. I started out with a pomegranate martini, which was yummy. I also had lobster bisque, followed by a veal tenderloin with garlic whipped potatoes underneath it. It was so, so good. SO good. I have had dreams about this meat. It was that good. I am well-educated on where veal comes from, so please don't ruin my memory of that good, good meal with a lecture on that. Mmmm...so good! Anyhoo, I followed that up with creme caramel for dessert, which is basically a flan. It was well worth my part of the $500 to have a meal like that!

Sunday? We were at a basketball tournament for my older stepson, and after it was over, their mom said the magic words..."Do you want to take the kids to grab something to eat?" So we went out for some yummy breakfast, and that was the third time in one week that I threw all caution to the wind and ignored that food journal that was along for the ride in my purse. After blueberry whole wheat pancakes, bacon, and home fries, I went home stuffed and ready to nap in preparation for my shift that night. Yes, I ate a meal like that and then went home and went to sleep. It seemed to me to be the recipe for disaster.

This whole time, I never drank regular soda, which was one up side, and I kept drinking my water. And I made it to the gym three times during the week. So I was staying on track in other areas...just not the food area. I got out of work this morning knowing that today's meeting was the only one I could make it to this week. I went there and contemplated handing in my free pass and not weighing in for the week. However, I went through with it. I stepped on the scale. I lost 1.4 pounds. I am now standing at 15.2 pounds lost, which is more weight that I have managed to lose since 2002. I am ridiculously proud of myself...for sticking with it, for not giving up when I "messed up," and for stepping on that scale today even though I knew I might not like what it had to say. And as we head into the wedding weekend, I know that I can stay on plan all week, go off plan for the wedding, and get right back on plan, therefore minimizing the damage. Did I mention that I heart Weight Watchers? I do...and I heart the people who sit in that meeting with me and nod their heads in agreement when I talk about my struggles. They know where I am coming from...and they are on this journey with me. It's so nice to have partners in my weight loss!