Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Sick of the bar scene, loves to cuddle...

Apparently, there is a large group of men who have posted personal ads while SHARING THE SAME BRAIN! After all, how else would you explain how all the men out there seem to have never done something like this before (looked on-line for love, that is), love cuddling, enjoy romantic walks on the beach, and bill themselves as sick of the bar scene. Is this what they think women are looking for? Is this what women are looking for? It's not what I am looking for.

First of all, I have looked for (and found) love on-line before. Hearing that a man has never done this doesn't make me think, "Well, that makes him much cooler than guys who make this a habit!" Would you rather meet your partner on-line or in a bar or on the train when it has to stop because another passenger is having a heart attack (this happened to a girl I know...they bonded over their concern that they were going to be late arriving at their respective destinations)? Who cares, as long as you meet that person? Hearing that a man loves to cuddle and enjoys romantic walks on the beach doesn't make my heart go pitter pat. Sure, I like to cuddle as much as the next girl, but it's not a necessary piece of information to know right off, and sometimes it's nice to stick to my side of the bed. And are there men out there who really enjoy long, romantic walks on the beach? And if so, isn't it a shame that there is no ocean-front property in Pennsylvania?

I am concerned that, in their haste to make themselves look "cool" and seem unlike a smarmy booty call seeker, men are not sharing who they really are and what they are really looking for. I want to hear a guy say something like, "I like to watch football as much as possible, and I also enjoy rebuilding old PCs in my spare time." Give me some honesty, people. Sure, women complain about men and sports, and some women don't go for the techno-geek type, but a man who says that is telling it like it unpleasant surprises left for later when your Sundays are spent either on your own or in front of the TV and your spare room starts to resemble a Microsoft factory. My "profiles" (the code name for what is really a personal ad) are pretty brutally honest. I pull no punches...I am not just looking for a good time, I am not "slim," "slender," or "athletic and toned," I am not looking for someone who merely describes himself as a sensuous lover (I kid you's that for modesty?). I do want to get married and have kids one day, and I do feel like I need to get down to that because biological clock is ticking.

The best I can say about right now is that it is providing me endless fodder for entertainment. Eharmony is certainly better because there seem to be some higher-quality men on there. But sometimes, when I am reading once again about someone who thought they would try on-line dating on a lark because they were sick of the bar scene, I look back a little sadly on what I had before and wish that things had been different and that we were still together now.


hatleyman said...

Well, at least you don't have high standards on the men being honest. "Hi, I'm Bob. I don't get out much, I like to look at porn on the internet, and beer is a food group."


Wouldn't a little bit of a front be better than the honesty up front?

NME said...

I don't envy you. I HATED dating. And meeting men to date is the worst. My attempts at dating were to meet a man through friends, become friends with him, decide that because he was a good friend that he would be a great boyfriend, and then waste alot of time trying to convert the relationship - sometimes to the chagrin of said man. I did this SO MANY TIMES. And often they made crappy boyfriends. Luckily the last time I did it it worked out - but after over a year passed.
It's never easy to not only find someone that you mesh with now but also want the same things for the future. But if you stick to your guns the risks payoff in the end. Good luck!

patrice said...

I totally agree with you. those kinds of ads would turn me off in a heartbeat. not to mention the fact that "sick of the bar scene" sounds like "used to be a major male slut, but then contracted herpes and who knows what else, so, consequently, sick of the bar scene."

if there's any silver lining here, I guess it would be that you can sift through the profiles pretty quickly.

Kelly said...

James and I met online. I fell in love with him when he spouted out some pain-in-the-ass response to something I said. Happily ever after. Now if he would just get a job.