The One Where She Talks About Everything

First of all, let me tell you that I am getting better and better at the knitting. And now I am making up my own stuff! I tried to finish off a scarf that I have been knitting this week for my friend Paula from school (much like the Green Scarf of Just Before That, so no pictures) using Crazy Aunt Purl's Three-Needle Bind-Off, but I didn't pay close attention to her directions. So I skipped a step and made it into something entirely my own, but who cares because the scarf is finished, and that makes me a knitter who has completed another project. I think that makes about ten now. And most of them were scarves...

Anyhoo, let's talk about the New Year. The year 2006 is on its way, and it's a doozie. This will be The Year I Turn 30. This will be The Year I Get Married. This will be The Year I Cohabitate with a Boy for the First Time. This will be The Year I Finish Nursing School. And if my willpower stays in check, this may also be The Year I Take Off All the Pounds.

Yes, that's right, friends. It's almost time for a New Year's Resolution. I am not one to make a million of those because, well, I often don't succeed them, and then I feel like both shit and a failure. And that's not a fun way to feel. Every year for the past, well, many, my NYR has been the same. This will be the year that I stick to my diet and exercise plan and lose weight. Usually, I start the year off with a bang. I drop some pounds. I exercise. I start feeling good. And then I get complacent. I stop exercising. I start eating McDonald's again. I switch back to regular soda. I gain the pounds back, and sometimes they bring friends. And I feel like both shit and a failure.

Often, Lent starts just about when the shit-and-a-failure thing settles in. Conveniently, I am Catholic, so I use Lent as an opportunity to recommit. I give up something for Lent...fried food or regular soda or alcohol or chocolate or meat. On some of those, I do really well. Giving up meat and poultry for the 40ish days of Lent? No problem. Giving up the fried food. Danger! Danger! Houston, we have a problem! Because then, added to the shit-and-a-failure thing is the sinner-going-to-hell thing (Note: I don't think that eating something I gave up for Lent during Lent will really land me in hell. However, some of the other stuff I've done? Not so sure...).

Anyway, let's talk about all the reasons that this year should be The Year. I mentioned that I am turning 30. So I don't think the old metabolism is going to be getting any faster. I mentioned that I am getting married. I would prefer not to do that in a muu muu. And then I didn't mention some things...like how my left knee has arthritis in it that gets better when I am in better shape and flares up when I am being a big blobby dieting failure. I didn't mention that my libido is on the low side because I don't always feel like heaving my fat around in what will be my marital bed (sorry if that's TMI, but for some of you, this might be giving you the Ding of Recognition). I didn't mention that I see women with cute little bodies in cute little outfits, and it reminds me that ever since high school (save a couple of times when I was being a Dieting Success), I have been one of those women who wears clothes more for Covering Up and less for Showing Off.

So this is the year that I would like to resolve to get in shape and actually mean it. This is the year that I would like to resolve to start drinking diet soda and stop drinking regular, start drinking water and stop letting myself get dehydrated, start eating my vegetables and stop eating entire bags of Goldfish crackers in one sitting. This is the year that I want to make peace with whatever it is in me that makes me want to eat when I am stressed instead of choosing one of several more healthy options. Stressed out? Why not take a walk? Bored? Knitting is fun. Not sure what to have for dinner tonight? How about some sort of meat and a vegetable instead of a box of frozen mozzarella sticks? Thirsty? That water will quench your thirst much better than that Cherry Coke ever will!

I am fortunate that I have my Diamonds Girls to share my successes and not-so-successes with on the Dieting Front. We met as some fat girls on eDiets who wanted to get thinner. We bonded over the stuff of life that binds all of us women together. And now we will start the New Year holding each other accountable and celebrating our successes and recovering from any bumps in the road together. And when I walk down the aisle on my wedding day, I want it to be with a swagger in my step that says, "I did it, world, and I know that I am sexy." I want to be in the best shape of my life. I want to be the best Me that I can be. So that's my rather long-winded resolution. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.

In other news, congratulations go out to Princess Emily, on the newest addition to her family. Camille Eileen Johnson was born December 27th in the wee, small hours of the morning. She looks to be a beauty...and she will surely become the center of her proud parents' world! Welcome to the world, baby girl...

I think that's about all I can fit in here...knitting news, heavy thoughts that would be better suited for therapy, and some well wishes for a friend from the Blogosphere. As we prepare to close the door on 2005, I want to let you all know how happy I am that you have become a part of my world. Here's to a wonderful (if slightly hectic) 2006!