Monday, August 29, 2005

Motivation? Zero...

La, la, la! Anyone want to do my homework for me?

For those who have noticed that I am not being the prolific poster that I used to be, it would be safe to assume that I have a new, new, new obsession! It starts with "W," it's about 14 months away, and it is taking up all my waking thoughts and many of my sleeping ones. It's my wedding! I bet you guessed that though!

Not too many weeks ago, I was Bitter and Single. And my friends have been getting married all around me. And for the most part, I was happy for them...okay, I was always happy for them. But I must admit that sometimes, when times were slow and I was alone, the green-eyed monster snuck in a little, and I would wonder just what it was that was keeping me here at home, living with my parents, with an ex-boyfriend who couldn't seem to commit (But you fooled me! Hi! I love you!), while other people lived out my dreams. Luckily, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and had a great time at their weddings. And when I have had occasion to spend time with them and their respective spouses, I have managed to squelch the envy within and see them for who they are...still my best friends, just married.

I tend to overthink things (and those of you who know my blogging cousin might see that this trait runs in the fam). I might even be what you would call a micromanager. I don't much like life's surprises, and I am not a big fan of change. The rules are there for a reason, and I just don't like to break them. I also like to have plenty of time to plan things out so that they don't throw me for a loop. Turns out that some surprises are okay though...and now all my love of planning is being put to good use because what is a wedding if not a chance for a detail-oriented micromanager to plan out a fabulous event the likes of which this town has never seen? Okay, that might be aiming a little high...but I am loving it just the same.

The thing with overplanning is that sometimes your plans fall through a teeny bit, and you have to have the resilience to pick yourself up and move on. Life is a lot about hard work and a lot about compromise and a lot about finding the fun in the everyday. So while this isn't necessarily the path I thought my life would take all those years ago, it's a great life just the same. And as I set out to build a new life with the man who gave me the biggest and most shocking surprise of my life, I plan to remember that now it's about us and not about me. And that while things will never be the same and life might send me some curves, the two of us will take things on together. It might take some getting used to...but I can do it.

My other vow is that I won't be That Girl who is a total Bridezilla and talks about nothing other than her wedding. But for now, I am still in the early planning stages, so bear with me for a while!

1 comment:

Susan said...

Rock on Mary! We know we want to hear all about the wedding!!